Nobody's perfect

For some of you, I may have given off the idea that I am a model person.

I have never smoked, have never been drunk, I hate clubbing and dislike dancing, have never died my hair, and I don't have tattoos. I wear simple clothing. I wear what I call "hand-me ups" (clothing I get from my younger sister) and clothing that I find or that is off-loaded onto me. I am more introverted than extroverted. I don't really like shopping and I carefully control my budget. I am a really simple person living a simple life.

Remember the old adage - nobody is perfect. 

So what's my vice?

Food.

One of the richest meals I've had in Bordeaux, lamb and beans slow-cooked in an earthenware pot. Delicious, but deadly. Author of photo: Den Nation.

I have never been at the ideal weight for my height. Not since I was 6 years old. Puberty hit at age 7 (yes, I was an early bloomer) and I have been chubby every since. 

I love trying everything at least once. I eat almost anything and I cannot stand leaving great food on my plate in restaurants. I have to eat everything; it makes me uneasy to think of good food being thrown away.

When I was 22 I weighed over 80kg. For someone that is only 160cm tall, that is a lot. Last night I looked up my BMI for when I weighed 82kg and was so shocked to discover that I had been obese. 

Me obese, how could that be? I was so ashamed.

At this time I moved to a new city, started university and began a weight-loss regime. It was not a fun time, let me tell you. For six months I ate plates of boiled vegetables and fish. Nothing could be fried and the only dessert I knew was Greek yoghurt and fruit.

I succeeded - I got the weight off. Just not all of it.

I spent a few years almost happy at the upper end of a healthy weight range for my height. I did control my portions and led an active life which included a lot of walking and cycling. I ate mostly whatever I wanted. But I remained chubby.

That all changed when I got married. I can't pinpoint exactly when the turning point was, but sometime in the year after I got married I started gaining weight again. 

I have thought about it a lot recently, and I think I know what went wrong. 

A lot of our friends had babies. Instead of inviting our friends over for dinner, we would always visit them in their homes. There would always be an elaborate apéro, pre-dinner drinks and snacks. I was ravenous and there was no way to escape the apéro. Living in Bordeaux, there was no shortage of alcohol either. By the time I got to the meal, I was no longer hungry, but I would keep eating at the insistence of my hosts. "Here, have a little bit more, I noticed that you liked these potatoes," my hosts would say, reserving me a healthy portion of potatoes without even asking if I wanted more. And then there was the wine. Oh, the wine! Sometimes there was even wine during the dessert. 

Treats brought back from Italy. The tupperware is full of cookies and nuts. Author of photo: Den Nation.

For the two years after we got married, my husband's job involved going out to dinner at least once a week and I would accompany him. Remember how I said that I can't stand to waste food? Well, in France you can't ask for a doggy bag. Everyone would order the 3-course set meals so I would too and end up eating all of it. The meals were so rich that even my bike ride home probably didn't burn off even a tenth of the calories I consumed.

We travel a lot, mostly for my husband's work. Since we got married we travel even more. So what happens when we arrive at our destination? You guessed it, dinner with the hosts who want to impress. 

So what happened? Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to guess that. I gained 10kg in a year. All because I have no sense of control and because I am too gourmande.

I decided to finally do something about it. Everytime I stepped on the scales it was like somebody was stabbing me in the heart. If I didn't do something about it, I was going to end up obese again and the thought of having to lose 20+kilograms just depressed me.

I knew that the only way I could do something about it was to leave France. So Denmark has been my saving grace. I think I will just do another post on why that is as this post is getting too long. 

I decided not to get a scale here, otherwise I would be on it all the time. I just weigh myself whenever we go to our friends' houses. 

So Monday night will be weigh-in night. 

I decided to talk about my weight problems so I would be held more accountable to stick to this. I'm going to try and eat right over the weekend and I'll be telling you all how the weigh-in went. Of course I'm not going to starve myself - I'll eat when I'm hungry and yes, this includes carbs. I don't believe in cutting out a food group from your diet just in the name of losing weight. When you go back to eating that food, the weight will more than likely come back on.

What am I hoping for in Monday night's weigh-in? To just be at a normal, healthy weight again, even if it at the top-end, which for me is 63. I know that a few weeks ago I was at 65, but with travelling and eating out, I can only hope to see 63 staring back at me on Monday night.

I better get out there and get on my bike. It's pouring, but no pain, no gain, right? Or it should be in this case, no pain, no lose.